Teaching through effort or teaching through skills?

 

Teaching through effort or teaching through skills?

Is my child doing enough? Should I really be giving him this reward because he didn't really do what I was thinking? This is something that parents have asked themselves for decades as time has rolled on. With everything we have now relating to participation trophy's and ceremonies for those who did not even meet the requirements that we have set for them. Are we really doing kids a favor or are we just giving in to avoid hurting feelings.

When we talk about efforts that kids can make, we often think of some sort of work being done. Something that took a lot of time to do or create. This effort has been taught to us as kids as a way of reinforcing the age old concept that when you put forth effort, you will be rewarded for the work you have done. This is only half of and accurate concept and the other half, I believe is grossly understated. There has to be some quality and skill in the work that is being completed. To have skill in what you do can be just as valuable as the effort your are putting in, maybe even more so due to the fact that the entire world runs on the quality, quantity and variety of skills people have. to have skills and effort can sometimes be a rare and expensive thing in todays markets. Some people have the skills, but do not want to put forth the efforts to do what is necessary to accomplish their dreams while others have the effort to move forward with their goals, but lack the skills to move beyond a certain point to completion and realization of those goals. 

I believe that when children are young, they need to have both incorporated into their teaching. This will ensure that we are raising a generation of hard working and able people to do the jobs that they want and move forward with their goals and dreams. When effort is the only thing taught, children can have a variety of things happen ( because each child is different), but most of the time, the child will begin to put forth less and less effort for the work that he or she is doing due to the same rewards and same praise that  is being given. In short, they will see where the bar is set and will not go beyond the bar because it is very comfortable to stay at the bar. As the child grows older, he or she will start to wonder why they are putting in so much effort just for people to not like their work or not approve of the task that they were asked to complete. This is not because of the effort that was made, but because the skill and quality of the project did not meet the expectations of the person who commissioned it. 

Now for the opposite side of the coin. When a child is only taught that skills are the only thing that matter in a project. The child will seek to learn the skill, but find that he or she is not willing to do the hard work and put forth the effort needed to learn it. When the child then gets older, he or she will find that people will ask for the skills that should have already been developed, only to find that the skills are not their and the person is wanting to just sit and have wishful thinking of success. This can also lead to other side effects such as mental health issues, physical health issues and other things that require effort to succeed in maintaining .

Not for the child that was taught both. The child that is taught both will learn through experience and effort that while the learning of a skill is hard, eventually it will be worth it. The child will have some tough experiences as he or she begins to develop skills and perfect them. These skills can then be consistently used and perfected so that the child can have good quality on the tasks assigned, while the grit and determination to see a project through. This will not always be an easy task for a parent to teach as it will match the will of the child to the will of the parent and the determination of both individuals to work together as student and master. As time goes by, the parent will then see the child grow and develop from a child to a peer in the parents eyes as they begin to learn more skills from the outside and bring them back to the home to start teaching the parents the new skills they have developed.